Oakdale, CA: Scientists at Montsaint Genie Tech Inc. announced today that they have successfully transferred the gene segment that produces the psychotropic chemical THC in cannabis plants to many other common garden plants, including tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, and more.
“We probably can put the THC segment into almost any plant in existence,” says lead scientist Rebeca Vale. “It’s a very simple process. We are starting work on oak and maple trees now.”
Asked if the resulting plants could be used in ways similar to cannabis, Vale replied, “Well, you can’t make twine out of a tomato plant, but if someone were to dry it and smoke it, all of the medicinal and psychotropic effects of marijuana would be present. And what’s more, we have learned that tomatoes, in particular, actually produce more THC than cannabis itself.”
But is it legal? “Actually, yes,” says Vale. “Our research qualifies as GMO ‘intellectual property’, as does the process itself. Since tomatoes and other plants are not illegal, a person would be well within the law to grow them and use them as they please.”
Vale says that her company is working on a spray that will transfer the segment to many plants simply by spraying the leaves of seedlings.
“It’s a very simple process,” she says. “Anyone can do it. We plan to start selling the spray – ‘Genie Mist’ – in a matter of weeks. One bottle will sell for five dollars and be capable of treating 6,000 seedlings.”
But how do the tomatoes taste? “Scrumptious,” Vale says. “But, of course, they are best when roasted.”
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